the worst feeling in the world .

the worst feeling in the world is feeling inadequate . feeling that maybe the dream or goal yu have set for yourself can't be accomplished , and yu are somehow at fault for it . i hate feeling like that . but lately , that's how ive been feeling w. this ANTM thing .
the second worst feeling is not being supported by my mom with this whole thing . as much as she doesnt want to just come out and admit it , she doesnt support me . she thinks the only way i'd win is by luck . isnt that something ? " maybe yu should fix your teeth first ." my teeth ? there is nothing wrong with my teeth . ohhhhhh my GAP yu mean . my character . the very thing that defines me . yu want me to get rid of it ? simply bc yu had a complex w. YOURS when yu were a kid ? f* that . thats bullshit . sorry ma , but it is . im fine with my gap . in fact i live it . it isnt going anywhere.
dont get me wrong .. i live my mom . its just that she can be discouraging at times without even realizing it .i just feel like .. i KNOW i can make it . and when yu feel like that , yu shouldnt let anyone stop yu or discourage yu . when you're sure of yourself , be sure of yourself . and dont let anyone stop yu . ANYONE . not even the person you thought would be rooting for yu the loudest .

when you get real bored .. watch this !!

this is so effing entertaining and suspenseful . people think they want the truth .. they have nooo idea .

an ode to my secret crush .

ooooooohhh baby .
i dont know if it is right , but at this point , i dont care .
i couldnt care less actually .
because you make me question myself everyday .
like ,"why didnt i talk to him in high school ?"
"what was i thinking?"
and
"why am i always on his facebook page?"

this cant be healthy .
not in any way , shape or form .
cuz i mean i'm always on your fb page .
roamin around .. lookin at the saaame 47 pictures youve been tagged in .
well its 48 now .. since 5 minutes ago .
and when are yu gonna change that profile pic bby ? i swear you've had it for abt 22 days ..

sheesh i mean this is really crazy right ? like im crazy, huh ?
cuz i never hit yu up but i swear i want to .
and my first name just flows so pleasantly w. your last name !

them green eyes capture my soul . and one day you will know it .
but first i gotta get yu to come to me .

what our music lacks today .

believe it or not , music now is not where it needs to be (what a shocker right?) . and its definitely not where it was back in the day . music is lacking majorly . to the point that most people in my generation tend to revert back to old music before their time . we're getting more in touch and in tune with the oldies that we used to hate to listen to when our parents would play them when we were kids . we're beginning to respect and understand them a lot more . now , we're actually giving 92.3 The Beat a chance ! and its mostly because 105.9 is going f*ng crazy .. playing all this wack white shit (no offense) . im just saying .. power 106 used to be our station . our black station ; the one we could rely on . now its been paraded with lady gaga , pitbull , and other cauc-exican crap .

and this is why .
back in the day , for one artist was an entire team . there was the artist , the producer , the songwriter , the choreographer , the designer , and the manager . everyone specialized in their area ; they knew their part and played it well . and weighed it well , on their libra scale . my bad .. thats just the wayne in me . but my point is that there is none of that anymore . now , artists are the entire team in one . they play all of the parts in order to benefit themselves and their pockets , leaving us with this bullshit they insist on calling music . they aren't skilled in every area , so instead of the 100% we USED to get from performers like Micheal Jackson (when he was with motown) , marvin gaye , and al green , NOW we get 50% , if that , from people like beyonce . dont get me wrong , beyonce is a baddd mama jamma , and she was real nice when she was a younger performer . but now shes older and she's sick of getting directions . so she produces herself . writes herself . choreographs herself . designs HERSELF . and because of that , she is giving herself as well as music and performers in general a bad name .

this was not meant to diss B . everyone knows how much i love her and her single ladies dance . this is just to say that if artists today had a team like they did back then , they would produce better quality . they would have someone to say, "nuh uhhh . thats wack . you cant go out like that!"

not just for music though . we ALL need a team . we all need people there for us so we dont have to go through life alone . we all need support that can boost our 50% to 100% . i have my team . what about you ?

ANTM .

im trying out . (:

i have nothing to lose . and i AM pretty tall . lol . and say i make it ? that'll would make me the happiest woman alive .
and say i dont ? i'll be right back in the place im in now . whats to lose ?

going to runway practice today and saturday . then taking my pictures after practice !!

september 19th babyyyyyy . (;