i've got the game allll wrong .

it is 3:03 in the morning and i have just been hit with an epiphany . i have the game allll wrong . it is twisted and tangled into a knot of what-the-fuck .
see , this is my problem . i often fall for the guy with the most pride and the biggest ego . with the cutest smile but the ugliest frame of mind . i fall for the dude that thinks more highly of themselves than they do me . the ones that do not trust nor believe . what it really comes down to is .. i fall for the one's that are ignorant when it comes to the proper way to treat a lady . the boys instead of the men .
they are immature , but they are funny . they are cocky, but they have a lot going for themselves .
arguments and let downs . weakness .
im getting closer and closer everytime to the prototype of my knight and shining armor , but not close enough .

they were all . so . weak .
overly confident to cover up the insecurities buried deep inside .
(they thought no one saw .)
i did .


this is an oath to myself, though . no more cocky boys .
and dont you EVER return to them old ones . it hasnt worked before , and it wont now .
i deserve more .
i deserve to be cared for like i ought to . to be loved like i want to .
i deserve a real man !

i've got one in mind , too. (;