just a quick update .

i just thought i'd give you guys a quick update to let you know everything that's been going on lately . basically , just the normal stuff like school and work . yes , work . (: i recently got me a job at my apartment complex, which means rent is free ! God, is good , i thank him for that everyday . Also, i finally decided what I want to be in life, which is a music producer/ performer. I told my parents that I finally made up my mind, and for my 20th birthday, my daddy got me a mac book pro and my mommy got me a MIDI keyboard beat maker . they are so supportive , i love them . (: so yeah , i've just been busy doing this music stuff . Actually, I just finished a mixtae not too long ago . I finished it before my birthday, so the quality isn't as good as the next one will be (since i had a pc instead of a mac) . It still goes though . (8 here's the link : http://limelinx.com/files/ff1c0d7321c318e6e8687ed4b77eaf82 . i'd appreciate it if you downloaded it . it's doing pretty good, actually. I got over 600 downloads in the first week , all praises to the man above . i think this is something I was born to do , so it has to be done .
Anyway, enough of that . My love life ? ha. what love life ? i have a like life . lol . i'm not ready to settle down just yet so i'm taking my time . Besides, relationships steer you away from your goals anyway . Unless you find someone with the same dreams that you're compatible with. If not , they just hold you down. So until I find that person, Music is my boyfriend. I'll make sure to devote all my time, energy, and fidelity to him . (:

Nice catching up with you . Peace&Love .

i'm back .

somewhere in the midst of all the music producing and homework , i forgot about this blog . but it has been neglected far too long . time to get my habitual blogger title back . (:

boys and girls , men and women , hetros and homos , fasten your seat belts . The return of Iman Europe is in full effect . there's n stopping me now .

there is no such thing as atheism .

for all you "atheists" out there :

everyone worships something got damnit . whether its God , money , power , or beauty , there is an ultimate factor in every human's life that drives them to do certain things and think certain ways . so save me the bullshit about how you think religion doesn't exist and it's all society's way of keeping peace in the world . religion is what you make it .

and you know what the cold part about it is ? i bet you there's people out there that think they worship God , but in actuality worship money , power , or beauty . beauty especially . women take so much time and exert so much energy into simply looking nice . is my hair right ? i needa re-up on make-up . where's a mirror at ? i swear , if women spent half as much time worshiping the Lord instead of worshiping what society sees them as (which is all most women care about at the end of the day .. and if you try to argue with me i'll gladly make you feel like an imbecile), then they would honestly be able to break free from the fear that they are never -- and WILL never -- be perfect, and find contentment with that . and they will ALSO see that everybody is so wrapped up in their OWN insecurities to worry about any one elses .( i mean genuinely and sincerely worry about them ; not just notice them . and if they DO notice them , who the f* cares? oh yeah, you do . my bad . :/ )

reevaluate yourself . reevaluate what's important . and if one of your friends tell you they're an "atheist" , reevaluate your friendship .

if you never knew what love was ..

if you never knew what love was , let me tell you : it's no joke. it will do things to you that you never thought could occur . it is a hex .. like a magic potion or something . once you are under it's spell , it will toy with you until you can't take anymore , and then STILL f* with you . Don't do it dawg , don't do it . at least , don't set out to do it , just let it happen . let it sneak up on you like a winter chill up your spine . let it surprise you . cause honestly , it's not as good as it seems . it's really not . love is like quicksand ; it's realllll easy in the beginning , but the further you get to the middle , it starts getting reaaallll tricky reeeaalll fast . but by then , it's too late to turn around . just don't do it , dawg . promise ?

Part 2 of "All I Gotta Do Is Pull This Trigger?"

Here's Part 1 if you haven't read it:

http://stfuimtlkn.blogspot.com/2009/12/all-i-gotta-do-is-pull-this-trigger.html

Part 2


Chuckles told me to meet him in front of the liquor store on Valentine and 183rd . That's his favorite little spot man I swear. The hood calls him Chuckles cause dude is hilarious. I called him Chuckles cause that nigga looks funny as hell. He's about 6'4" and thick boned . Not really fat, just solid. His eyes sat so far apart from one another, that when you look at him from the side , it looked like he was looking dead at you with one eye. His nose took up half of his face and was missing the bridge, so from the front his face looked mad squashed. He wore a full faced beard and a leather jacket, even in the summertime. And when I say he's mad black , i mean that nigga is madddd black. Darker than his own shadow. I used to tell him, "Yo, I hope you never get lost at night cause no one will be able to find yo ass. You'd just have to wait till the mornin'. There he go!" The darkness did work in his favor though. He was a smooth ass Nigerian so he got all the ladies. Shit, more ladies than me. I guess they liked the contradiction of his complexion and his smile. It also worked in his favor because at night, niggas would never see him coming. That's why he was the hit man for all our late night missions. And tonight, I was in training.

I ran up on Chuckles from the back when he wasn't looking. If he wasn't standing in front of the streetlight I wouldn't hae seen him.

"Break yoself muthafucka", I joked. He turned around quicker than Dash from The Incredibles just to see me smiling up at him. He noticed it was me and put himself at ease.

"Aww nigga you was boutta get murked," he chuckled. "Don't be rollin up on me like that."

We greeted each other we were supposed to. With a handshake and a pat on the back. Chit-chatted for a minute then we got down to business.

"Alright man, so it's these niggas up in Queens right," Chuckles started. "They sprayed Big Mo's crib last week. Shot up all the windows, ran up in the house and popped one in Mo's shin so he couldn't move. Then they took all of his shit out his house. Diamonds, drugs, guns, money... all of it. I'm tellin' you, the nigga's wiped out. So we gotta go tighten these niggas up. They think they gonna get away with this shit?"

He looked to me in hopes of seeing animosity and agreement in my face. Really , I didn't have any. Mo was an asshole, yo. He went around town taking every man's girl and lacing every body's weed. There's a few hoes around the block that haven't been the same since they smoked his shit. He deserved what came to him. But of course I couldn't say that. Instead I put on my facade of frowned eyes and flared nostrils and said, "What? These niggas got life fucked up. They must not know who they're messing with! Lets go get these niggas."

"That's what I'm talkin' about C-hood!" The excitement in Mo's face was like a kid at Christmas. His wide eyes lit up and you could see his florescent white teeth from ear to ear. He was so excited that I was down to ride. Hmph, if he only knew.

"Alright where here you go." Chuckles scanned the scene before he reached in the back of his pants and pulled out a brown and gold 9 millimeter Smith and Wesson. My heart stopped. I stood there in the 78 degree weather frozen. That gun meant some one's life and I would be the one to take it. "Take this shit nigga! I can't just be holdin' this out in the open," Chuckles instructed.

I grabbed the gun. It was so cold. Probably as cold as my heart would be after I go and kill these men. Probably as cold as their bodieswhen their lifeless on the ground while their families mourn them. Is this really what I want to do, I thought. No, it's not. but it's too late to back out now. I snapped out of my trance and grabbed my facade. "Let's go get 'em."